somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
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