was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
