I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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