smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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