they need to just BURY HIM!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
