...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
