If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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