She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
