How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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