Well douche your snatch and let's go!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
