There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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