This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
