I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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