I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize