Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Screwed.edu
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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