I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
