you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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