Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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