See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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