Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
