you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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