Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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