I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There's always time for handjobs
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
