Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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