So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
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It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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