Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
