her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
