Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
