If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
