Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
