My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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