A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
