I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
