Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize