The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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