so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm getting married
To pizza
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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