You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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