Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
