we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
