Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
