problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize