so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
