I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Farmville is her only friend.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
