My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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