Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
