too bad you live with your parents still
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
