Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize