R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
