I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
