yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
