No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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