So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
