I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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