you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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