So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
