You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
