you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My bed smells like the plague
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
