I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
