Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
