Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
