What did we do last night that was yellow?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
